When the Symbol Fix Is In

Once uxorious men discover their erotic truth, they often have problems expressing and communicating their needs and wants in symbols their partner understands. The man wants new symbols to express and communicate with because the couple's previous signs of love and acceptance do not adequately address his new uxorious experience. Yet in the man's attempt to change relationship symbols, he often fails to adequately differentiate sex and erotic interest from love and acceptance. Because his own interior symbols remain compact, in relationship communication he uses these new and undifferentiated symbols in ways that are unclear and don't quite work for his partner.

The man often 1) wants her to express holistic acceptance of him and his uxorious nature, 2) wants her to express erotic interest in his uxorious sexuality and 3) wants her to express long term intentions of power dynamic authority. Usually the man wants these things expressed in specific ways, certain compact symbols he knows will work for him, the sexual act he desires (whatever his kink may be), semi-sexual physical objects (such as male chastity devices, collars, panties, whatever), and also language symbols (such as contracts, commands and other various authoritative statements of authority, names of power dynamics such as mistress, queen, boy, slave etc).

Sometimes these new symbols work, but often they fail because she sees them less as giving 'acceptance, interest and acknowledgment' and more like giving in to 'sex demands and kink.' Men fail to recognize their partner is not necessarily going to easily understand the new love symbol; in fact she's more likely confused as to why previous love symbols are suddenly no longer adequate. It's a problem both men and women struggle with; indeed, since it takes two to tango on this two way street, a woman's ability to understand her man and adapt her symbols to her partner is not only helpful but equally valid and valuable.

And though solving this is as simple as men and women learning to look outside their usual symbol box, symbol confusion remains difficult for anyone to conquer because it's difficult to know exactly which symbols are mismatched and affixed inaccurately when on your own interior you haven't differentiated where different symbols need to be used. In these classic cases of only understanding what we're looking for and only understanding what we expect to see, reattaching symbols more precisely so they are clear to both people can sometimes be a lengthy and frustrating process, one fraught with inherent instability and insecurity, and it often requires sincere trust to not feel offended, repulsed, or unloved.

Both partners need to understand the limitations of what they can give, be sincerely open to their partner's changing interior and symbol expressions, and respect their partner's limitations. It doesn't matter how it's solved of course, it doesn't matter who 'does more' or who 'does what' to solve it, there are no 'obligations' as such on anyone to solve it in any certain or specific way - whatever a couple works out, if it works out and works for them, it's a 'good' solution.