About My Octopus Heart

This blog is about two things (mostly): interior experience and intimate relationships.

I have only recently learned to think of the babble of thoughts and emotion comprising my interior experience as a valid place to pursue meaning and happiness; but I now believe the inside place where we love, desire and want, the place where we look for meaning is where we are most human. Thus, unsurprisingly I find meaning in symbological expression of my interior, which includes blog posts, stories and poems.

By paying attention to my interior I discovered my erotic truth; I'm an uxorious man and I now have what many might describe as a female led relationship (wife led marriage, etc. see my story.) Yet my wife and I have a relationship first and foremost, so much of this blog is about relationships and compatibility in general. (Indeed, where I use "(female led) relationships" it denotes something generally applicable to all relationships including 'female led' ones.)

I also have a mild obsession with adequately and accurately representing our interior and mental framework to our own selves and effectively communicating it to a partner. In order to grow intimacy (and interior meaning and significance) as each individual uses symbols to express themselves, their partner needs to learn to understand those symbols in the way their partner meant them. And we need to learn to read our partner's symbols in order to give our partner what they want in the symbols they understand. Some people like having a holistic and compact view of the world, while others like a more differentiated worldview; neither way is better, but if our partner views something more compact or differentiated, we may want to take especial care discussing it because we'll likely discover we use symbols a little differently for expression and communication.

Note:

I am fortunate to have both enough thoughts and enough time for me to want and to bother writing them down. However I won't vouch for how readable, interesting, coherent, uniform (I can't imagine having more than one blog), accurate or adequate the content of my thoughts and writing might be to anyone else's experience.

Frankly, I don’t particularly like the idea of blogging, of having a 'world wide web log'; it’s the grammatical horror of the verb 'to journal' mixed with the morbidity of world wide exposure. Yet. Not only have I learned no one person really wants to listen ad nauseam to all the thoughts I have (it really may make some people ill, you are forewarned against reading too much here), but I've also learned it's difficult to read about the ins and outs of living my kind of relationship (because it's a relationship whether or not the man is uxorious or it's 'female led') without being constantly confronted with other people’s kink (which I don't really do) or worse other people’s porn (which I don't really do either).