To Confuse, Frustrate or Offend

'To offend' – (Latin 'to strike against' and so) 'to cause hurt (feelings), anger, irritation, resentment or displeasure'

'I'm not easily offended' - 'but' - I've always thought 'offend' implies intent to harm, and without intent to harm there is no offense, despite constructions such as 'his ignorance was offensive.' Indeed I rather think ignorance should never be offensive, and since I also believe most people intend harm out of their ignorance, I'm not only 'not easily offended' but I am rarely offended as well.

What I get is frustrated; I have never understood what it is about human nature that seeks to intentionally harm, to intentionally misuse and misrepresent, to be intentionally untrue. Of course I admit myself to all these things, but only out of fear for myself and mine, never out of harmful or malicious intent.

But the collapsing and compacting of 'harm felt' with 'harm intended' can sometimes interfere with effective communication. I do not always take care with my communication but when I do take especial time and effort to say what I mean I get frustrated by ineffective communication. Often people believe I mean more, or different, than I say; sometimes someone will hear only part of what I say, miss my point entirely, take offense where none was given, and (the worst by far) tells me what I mean by my words.

I understand people might sometimes feel offended, feel I mean something different than I mean, and I believe feelings are valid; what I do not understand is why people do not seek first to understand others as a solution to miscommunication, to confusion, to frustration, before taking offense.