Gendered Sex and Love Symbols part 1

Gendered Sex and Love Symbols part 2
Gendered Sex and Love Symbols part 3

Gender stereotypes, like all stereotypes, have a kernel of truth in them, and though which parts of the stereotype is the true kernel is often debatable, I wonder if the kernel difference between how men and women think about sex might contribute to some couples’ choice for female led relationships, perhaps even why female led relationships may be better for certain men and women.

If men stereotypically want passionate sex while women want compassionate security, then perhaps men experience the pleasure of passionate sex as a symbol for love, while women perhaps use sex as an only occasionally pleasant tool to obtain compassionate security as a symbol of love. The comparative specificity and singularity of male sex symbolization, of their sex drive and sexuality reflecting only desire to love and for love, contrasts with the plurality of female sex symbolization. For women 'being sexy' may symbolize their sexuality and their sexual drive, but it may possibly also symbolize their desire to simply be desired, to capture and hold the attentions and resources of a willing mate.

But since being 'sexy' isn't the same thing as being 'sexual', sex is often a contentious issue in relationships; women discover they need less sex to obtain the comfort and security they desire while men discover they need more sex to continually express love. And I think it is at this point men disenchanted with their partner's lack of sex drive and women disenchanted with their partner's constant need for sex discover female led relationships as a way to continue the collapsed male sex-love symbol (without sexual frustration, porn, affairs or other symptoms), but also give the woman the control she needs to obtain the comfort and stability she desires.