Occasionally, while facing forward and paying full attention to my wife and our lives together, I'll suddenly start dreaming our love and lives a little different, perhaps we've met earlier in life, have more money, are more successful at something or another, and often with different levels or corridors of intimacy. However, I've recently discovered daydreaming too often wants me to be different than I am, or worse my wife to be different than she is.
When I was younger this wouldn’t bother me so much; I could have wonderful fantasies about a partner who was, well, not really my partner. These days once I recognize a daydream as veiled excuse for variety's allure, the fantasy suffers terminal failure. Without true love, imagination's sheer multiplicity holds little real relationship appeal, probably because it faces backwards towards prideful sex game tabulations.
Yet I believe in positive daydreaming, good fantasy that builds on what's immediately present and moves further along the current path. It can help us recognize what is acceptable, what will work, and what our parameters are. Such fantasy helps us feel our way forward helping us understand ourselves better in the dynamics of intrapersonal relationships and it strengthens us.
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