Contradiction in Frustrated Tears

But this thing, this concept has an oxymoronic nature in wanting to be a female led man. I often find myself saying things like, “I want her to want,” right - why would I want her to want anything other than what she actually wants?

Of course, I think the idea and hope among is “once she understands it is okay if she wants this or tries that, well then, she might like what I want her to like and want what I want her to want.” But then I find myself so intently trying to explain what I want in terms acceptable to her, so busy saying “I want you to lead, live and love my way,” that I am not really listening to what she’s saying she wants. Besides I wonder if there would ever be an end to my saying, “Why don’t you try this? How about you learn like this thing I want you to want? Why don’t you just start doing all the things I want you to want to do, whether you like it or not?”

It’s either a devious and tyrannical attempt to control your partner by first insidiously convincing them that you are really under their control so they won’t suspect, or it’s the good monarch’s plan that accidentally takes the first step to the dark side and makes “I was just trying to help you understand all your options” somehow sound a lot like “oops, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” Not only is your partner likely to be smarter than that but for her sake, your sake and the sake of the land, you probably want her to be smarter than that. I do.

So I suck it up and try to keep a close watch on my wants.