It occurred to me last night that part of my endeavor to maintain a positive attitude and framework (or avoid a negative one) may be more accurately described as, or is in part comprised of, my desire to maintain (and enlarge) a certain specific mental space within my mental framework. I know many will simply attribute this experience to 'sub-space', the endorphin rush of a submissive in situ, but such symbols and descriptions have never worked for me, neither submissive nor scientistic biology.
For me, this 'state' is when I feel perfectly at peace with my wife, perfectly one with my wife, when I feel I was born to love her (c.f. Love's Fate, Love's Destiny), when I feel I am 100% there for the purpose of participating in her happiness process. And, well, I want that frame of mind for me, for my sake. It is a beautiful passionate moment, it is like getting to safely stand on the sun, it's a powerful and numinous thing, and I want to feel this way all the time - because it's when I most feel as if I am fulfilling my purpose in life, doing what I am supposed to be doing here on earth, learning the thing I am supposed learn here on this earth.
Yes, in an intellectual way I realize I may be collapsing spiritual and romantic symbols with the erotic, yet equally so I intellectually realize I can only use whatever symbols I have to adequately and accurately describe represent my experience - so this is what I have.
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