The Edge of Understanding

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. ~ 'Yoggi' Berra

Part of the problem with the life lesson intersection is that it 'exists' on the edge of my experiential understanding; I don’t only have the problem of 'experiential compaction', because I also have the problems of 'differential blinders' and 'symbol stagnation'.

The place where thinking about things meets up with doing things is where we (in our common human experience) begin evaluating our experiences by the meaning(s) we gain from them. This process of valuing and discovering worth by insight, intuition and (or) reflection becomes a sort of mental modus operandi, a 'mental framework' that frames our understanding of the world and ourselves.

In life lesson two I referenced how I experience 'differential blinders', when I'm 'missing the forest for the trees' (and possibly also not having my priorities straight) because I am so absorbed in differentiating some minor (meaningless) point. And sometime ago pointed out how I have, in my mental framework, a differentiation predilection; I tend to differentiate needlessly beyond what I meaningfully experience. I think of this 'extra differentiation', and the symbols it creates, as 'experientially meaningless' because it does not have any engendering experience attached to it by which I might value it (evaluate it) and see its worth; I usually end up with concepts, ideas and theorizations that are literally '(experientially) worthless symbols'. Thus it is I rather think I need to develop some sort of bright-line warning system by which I might recognize when I am essentially not only (meaninglessly) wasting my time and mental resources but doing so at the expense (being blinded) of other meaningful experiences.

In 'symbol stagnation' we tend to seek symbols more than the meaning they are supposed to represent, or when we mistake a symbol for its meaning (they aren't the same thing). Those symbols might be love symbols, dominance and submission symbols, religious symbols, national symbols, philosophy symbols, cultural symbols, even language symbols, as no one likes hearing even unintentionally 'hollow words', but eventually I think we find the symbol mysteriously conveys less and less meaning. And when this happens, like passion addicts, we will either try using more of the same misaligned symbol to get more meaning, or we'll try rehabilitating the symbol by reattaching it to the engendering experience (perhaps in the same way as before or perhaps differently).

And of course when at the compacted edge of understanding, finding that 'differential bright-line' and stepping into 'symbol rehab' are just that much more difficult.

Framing My Mental Me

I think and write a lot about mental frameworks, sometimes as if they are not a part of a person, sometimes as if they are a part of a person. On one hand, we do not always make entirely volitional choices about how we view and think about ourselves and the world so one's mental framework seems not very different from one's self; it is just part of who we are. On the other hand, there is some dynamic and volitional interplay that suggests some separation of our selves from our frameworks.

Right now I rather think one's mental framework is merely a mind's modus operandi, the way in which people interact with and think about the world and themselves. As a method and manner of doing things, it thus seems to me one's mental framework is as much a part of that person, and equally as separate and changeable, as anything else they do.

Navigating the Life Lesson Intersection

I have three (main) reasons why the life lesson intersection is difficult for me to navigate.

1) I often want to help my wife with symbols from my own interior, but these are so often symbols she doesn’t understand, and sometimes so unhelpful they create obstacles for her instead.

2) I sometimes get so focused on the train of my interior thoughts (what I think, feel, believe and opine), so excited about what is happening between my ears, that I do not pay adequate attention to my beloved and what's happening to her and between us ("It's like I have no husband at all!"). on the other hand, this imbalance happens in the other direction as well when I get wonderfully attuned to my wife and what is happening between us, but feel as if I am missing the meaningful interior expression and the interior reflection I need to do in order learn the lessons I need to learn. This intersection requires not only attention to my interior, to my wife and to our relationship, but also to the balance and harmony of these.

3) The place where my interior pattern of meaning and our relationship meaning overlap is not well defined or differentiated (see here and here), and in the compaction of the experience I tend to get my symbols crossed:

-the emotions of love and romance,
-the tumult of sexuality,
-the meaning and significance of interacting with her,
-the spiritually numinous,
-the intellectual awareness of my experience,
All these things get compacted together in the experience, often in different combinations at different times, in this intersection.

Life Lessons

The very concept of a life lesson I think is based on a person's pattern of numinous experience and where they consistently find meaning and significance. I already have some things I consider life lessons, but in addition it recently occured to me there's a life lesson for me in learning to balance my interior space (i.e. my consistent interior valuation of interior mental space and philosophic pursuits over material and biologic progress) with helping her with her life lessons.

Life Lesson 1
I have worth,
I have value;
what I think
what I feel
what I believe
and my opinion
--even if no one knows them--
matter.

Life Lesson 2
I learn by loving,
I learn by doing,
and by doing all I can
to help her learn
her life lessons,
by doing what she wants
what she tells me,
I learn more of my life lessons.

Life Lesson 3
Balancing life lessons 1 and 2.