February 9, 2010

After Female Led Comes...

I began my thinking about female led relationships (in my very first post) with the observation that different people label the dynamic differently, and with the hope that this was because the symbol and mental framework meant different things to different people; but I didn't take into account changing ideas about female led relationships, such as I believe I have done myself.

A recent comment about how poor an 'advocate' for female led relationships made me realize I am not an advocate for female led relationships, that if anything I am an advocate for passion. And this led to the realization that despite how my uxorious erotic truth initially made the concept of a female led relationship very exciting for me, I now realize it wasn't any specific relationship power dynamic that excited me but rather being in this powerful emotional and mental state when in a specific relation to my wife - because of who she is.

I went on a bit about this in my last post, about how numinous and powerful, fateful and destined, 'that experience' is - yet I rather think that moment is not relegated to female led relationships. Early on in my thinking I was concerned about gender bending, about porn, about female domination, about kink, now as I think little about these things I also notice I think less about the 'female led dynamic'.

Partly I think this decline has been because I have finally realized that, for me, female led has been a useful mental framing device (if much more useful than say gender bending and femdom), useful to 'get my mind around' and accept the emotional and empathetic parts of my interior (the uxorious parts when pertaining to relations to my wife). Yet I think I have now internalized as much of its symbol set as is naturally functional within my mental framework - and relationship. And where a frame remains the frame, the essence remains the essence.

So while my direction is now away from 'female led' as a 'framed dynamic' because I am continuing towards the unframed powerful numinous experience that merely has some female led aspects, this blog will continue to be first and foremost about what I label 'interior experience' and 'relationships'.

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